***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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