im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
