I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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