i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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