So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
