beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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