Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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