You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
