I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Buhtt sex?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
