Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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