Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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