we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
