Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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