she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
