Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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