the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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