he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
