I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dear god my vagina.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
