no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
