I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
