Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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