Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
