Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
