I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
