You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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