the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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