I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
