No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I am morally bankrupt
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
