Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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