at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize