do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize