How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
this hospital has no fireball
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
