dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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