I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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