HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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