he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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