He kissed a someone with a penis
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
