let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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