i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
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Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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