your parents love me but you hate me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
