her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
