found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
