i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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