I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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