I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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