What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
