I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.