Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

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(817): View more from Texas

this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real

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(714): View more from California

I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.

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(360): View more from Washington

Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

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(703): View more from Virginia

if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless

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(208): View more from Idaho

Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take

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(360): View more from Washington

That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.

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