dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis