the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.