i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
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Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.