Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.