you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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