just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
