I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
