she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize