absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
