It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
